macavity2000 发表于 2012-1-10 20:03   全显示 1楼
第一篇给岳母过生日故事情节进展的也太快了吧，缺乏必要的铺垫，人物形象不够立体丰满。如果大大在辛苦的构思和设计一下，不要进入肉戏太快，应该是个很不错的题材的。感觉大大的文笔还是很细腻流畅的。
第二篇纯粹是恋物文，大大把缎袄拟人化了，干着缎袄就仿佛干着熟女同事！一点拙见

[ 本帖最后由 macavity2000 于 2012-1-10 20:07 编辑 ]
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  • bdh612 金币 +13 回复认真，抽奖去吧。 2012-1-13 20:11
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